five DVD's on my desk...

1. Die Hard 2 - Die Harder

Easily the worst of the Die Hard Trilogy (soon to be four films), but still enjoyable to watch if you want to see Bruce Willis say something cool after killing a bunch of bad guys.

2. The Third Man

Ahh, a classic, with a twist. Joseph Cotten plays a writer who finds out, after coming to Vienna regarding a job offer, that his best friend, Harry Lime, was killed in a freak car accident. After investigating the death of his friend, he finds out that Harry might've turned in to a different kind of friend right before the accident. See it, it has Orson Welles.

3. Dr. Strangelove
(or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)
Another classic that everyone should see at least once. Both Peter Sellers and George C. Scott are phenomenal in this movie. Sellers plays no more than four parts in this dark comedy, and he plays every one of them perfectly. Must-see. Now.

4. Cidade de Deus - City of God
A movie about growing up in gangs in the streets of Rio de Janeiro. A very strong story and visually compelling, dispite being such a violent tale. Not for the weak of heart.

5. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

If you haven't heard the name Shane Black before, chances are that you have seen one or more of the movies he has written. Lethal Weapon? Lethal Weapon 2? The Long Kiss Goodnight? The Last Boy Scout? Seen any of those? If you have, you've probably noticed that they have a very fast-paced, witty dialouge, a trademark of Black's, and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is no different. This movie doesn't beat around the bush, and demands of it's audience that you keep up, so if you can't grip the story the first time, see it again until you do.

Oh, by the way... Merry Christmas.

penii cactii...

In light of a comment left by my dear friend Logan in my previous post, I hereby give you this, as an early Christmas gift:


Yes, it is penii cactii. Shamlessly stolen from funlol.com. Enjoy.

so happy...

bad things that happened today...

The bad parts are bolded.

The day started with me leaving about 45 minutes late from work to fix a differential in the computer system. When I got home, I thought that I should fix the one and only problem I had with my new phone; I can't receive any media messages. Big mistake. At first, I spent an hour on the phone, talking to the service provider, which couldn't fix it. I then had to walk to the store where I bought the phone and stand around for an hour, then leave the phone there with them for an hour while I do other stuff, and they still couldn't fix it. I have to go back tomorrow to see if they can fix it then.

Later, when I started feeling hungry, I thought I'd order some thai take-away. I called, but their kitchen had just closed. Damn. "Oh well, good thing I bought some food earlier", I thought. When I opened the freezer, I noticed that everything in there is not frozen solid like it usually is. It turns out that I hadn't closed it properly, letting out all the cold, little by little, all day. All the food and my Rocky Road ice cream - destroyed. Except for the barbecue chicken drumsticks, which could still be cooked. Thankfully.

Oh, and I haven't gotten my paycheck in full, yet. Probably getting fixed before Christmas. I hope.

If good things happen tomorrow, I'll write about that. We'll see.

at work...

using my cellphone to publish photos...

Yeah, I know, the camera sucks in low light conditions, but it's still kinda cool, don't you agree? By the way, with my new phone came a new number, so if you are a friend of mine, but haven't gotten it yet, email me or leave a comment.

this is the first swede in space...

Congratulations, Christer Fuglesang, for being the first Swede in space. Your long wait has finally paid off. Good luck.

Crazy Jack-Face 16, 17

"Where the hell..."


"...WERE YOU?!"

"that last hand... nearly killed me."

Went to see Casino Royale today with my girlfriend. I never thought that I'd actually go and see a Bond-movie in the theater, less actually enjoy it. This is, hands down, one of the best Bond-movies I've ever seen, if not the best. Allow me to explain.

I have grown a big distaste for the older Bond-movies, just because it's so formulaic. Every one of them has a villain that basically wants to take over the world, and Bond is the only one who has the wits and charms to weasel himself into the villain's girlfriend, wife, lover, what have you. Q, the gadget man, provides Bond with something that saves his life later in the movie.

He then has a formal meeting with the villain, just to size each other up. Then Bond is chased, but escapes from the evil henchmen. Later, Bond is trapped by the evil villain, but the villain decides to explain his master plan before he tries to kills him. Villain leaves, but Bond, with the help of Q's gadget, escapes, kills the incompetent henchman in charge of killing him, then the main villain, and goes off on a boat somewhere, while doing the nasty with the woman he weaseled himself into earlier.

That said, I actually enjoy one or two of the Bond-flicks, but only for it's campy value. The first one is Goldfinger, mainly because of the scene where the villain has Bond strapped to a table, with a laser inches away from slicing off his manhood, but decides NOT to kill him, for some ridiculous reason. The second one is The Man With The Golden Gun, because it was the first Bond-movie I ever saw. Plus, it has Christopher Lee in it. And that wacky redneck sheriff from Texas.


"Hey! You're that secret agent! That English secret agent!
From England!"

So, what did I like about this movie? First off, the dialouge is superior to any of the other movies. It also has a couple of clever visual gags, and you are smirking through almost the entire movie, sometimes even laughing. Also, no gadgets. And a lot of blood. Oh, and the new title sequence was really cool.

Daniel Craig does a very good job as a more ruthless, violent Bond. Not much else to say about his performance, really. It's spot on. Mads Mikkelsen and Eva Green likewise. Not exactly Academy Award material, but believable enough for this movie.



What didn't I like? The length. This is basically my only complaint about the movie. The movie suffers from lengthy action sequences, that not only forces you to suspend disbelief (not uncommon for the Bond franchise), but are borderline tedious. They could have easily been cut in half, and given us a tighter movie. Also, as with every Bond movie, we have the obvious product placement from Sony scattered throughout the movie. Annoying.

So, my recommendation is that if you want to see a new, fresh, improved Bond, see this movie. It's not the best movie I've seen this year, but you'll have a good time. 4 kills out of 5.

they see me rollin', they hatin'...

...but at least I'm not riding dirty.

Note: Not me in the picture.

happy birthday to me...

Today is my birthday. I have revolved 23 times around the sun. Yay.

Okay, enough about that. I promised I'd write a bit about my new job, so that's what I'm gonna do. First off, staying up all night is not that hard. I'm a night-guy, it comes naturally. The hardest thing about the job is really just getting to the job. It takes about 20 minutes to get there, but part of the road is in really bad shape. And there's a lot of steep upward slopes getting there. I can't even imagine how tough it'll be once the snow comes. So I'm thinking about getting a moped.

Best parts about my new job? You can really do things at your own pace. And my new colleagues. Oh, and my new boss is a really cool guy. No, he's not reading this, so I'm not kissing his ass. He really is a cool guy. At least I don't think he's reading this.

That's all for now. Cheers, guys and gals.

yes, it is over...

Yeah, I took the nighttime job. As of today, I'm a receptionist. At a hotel. Sure, it'll be a tough time working those hours, but I think I made the right choice. I'm gonna stop writing here for a while, now that I'm settling in. I'll be back, though.

Funny thing I should mention; I beat out more than a hundred other applicants, maybe even two hundred, I'm not sure. I asked my new boss how many had applied for this job, and he showed how high the stack of papers were between his thumb and his index finger, and people, it was a really big stack. I don't know what I did in the interview, or what happened, but I'm mighty honored that I was chosen over all those other people. I guess everyone catches a break every once in a while.

Cheers!

it is over...

So hey, guess what? I got a job! No, strike that, I got TWO jobs to choose from. So, in the end, I have one job, but... you know what I mean.

The first job is the one at the floor store, part time, which was offered when my boss found out I got the other job. The other job is at a hotel, as a nighttime receptionist. Full time. I think I might take it. I think. I mean, working night is really demanding, not just on your psyche, but on your social life as well. But still, it's a full time job, and I need the money, so...

I still have some time to figure it out. I'll keep you posted. Yay! Now, I'm off to Pop Quiz at the pub.

Crazy Jack-Face 15

"Hnnnngh!"

living in a state of conformity...

I promised that I'd write about my job when I had the energy. Wait, job? No, I wouldn't call it job. A job gives you money when you give them your time, energy and your services. I'm not getting any money (yet) so I'm not sure what to call it. "Limbo"?

Ever since I got unemployed, people from everywhere started telling me what to do, how to look and what to think. People I don't know. The unemployment office, interviewers, community workers. Forcing me to attend programs that only costs money and doesn't amount to a damn thing. Basically, I felt like I was being treated like a fucking child most of the time. Telling me things I already knew, repeatedly. "Fall in and march, motherfucker"! It hasn't really bothered me until recently. I'm not sure why, but I bet it has something to do with this godawful weather. I can't stand it.

I guess it won't stop until I get employed somewhere. Then maybe I can start living my life again.

my first day...

completed my first training day at the floor store. so... very... tired. can't even... begin sentences... with capital letters. i'll write more about it another day, when i get into it.
the first day is always the hardest, right?

Crazy Jack-Face 14

"I don't care whether or not they called you... you made a mistake!"

yes, it is true...

NOT work-safe.

one floor, two floor, three floor, four...

I got a trainee-position today, which could very well lead to a full-time job. It's not a very stimulating job (basically secretary work and helping out in the store), but it could bring in some serious cash my way. Besides, it's easier getting another job when you already have one. Kinda like getting a new girl when you already have a girlfriend.

The company sells and installs floors, by the way. Hardwood, linoleum, tiles, stuff like that. I guess it's not that bad.

Hi, my name is Ricard. I sell floors for a living.

_fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck ^fuck fuck _fuck fuck

Needless to say, I'm pretty pissed off today.

everything will be ok...

if i act like myself everything will be ok
if i tell her what's in my heart everything will be ok
if i eat salad everything will be ok
if i work my ass off everything will be ok
if i smile everything will be ok
if i am supportive everything will be ok
if i drink everything will be ok
if i wear proper clothing everything will be ok
if i am talented everything will be ok
if i have friends everything will be ok
if i clean my room everything will be ok
if i listen everything will be ok
if i am funny everything will be ok
if i forgive everything will be ok
if i erase my mind everything will be ok
if i smile everything will be ok


shamelessly stolen and modified from http://happyllama.livejournal.com/

just for the fun of it...

I forgot these clips in my last post, so here they are.



Oh, awkward...


Exaggeration, hm? Like everything you say is one of those "lies"?

come on, doesn't everyone enjoy a good rape joke...?

In light of the public whoopsie Vladimir Putin made recently, I'd like to show two clips of world leaders who actually have a sense of humor. Enjoy.





(Maybe the last one counts as multiple whoopsies. I dunno. What do you think?)

hell on earth...

What's more depressing than actually being out of a job? I'll tell you; being forced to work for free, which is what is on my agenda for the next month. I have a week to either get a trainee-position myself, or being put to work into the community workshop, which I hear is worse than death itself. I guess I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet and hope that something good comes my way. Maybe I can try to weasel out of some hours, but still... It's gonna be really frustrating. And depressing.

I'm gonna buy a lottery ticket tomorrow, and hope for the best.

little people scrub and clean my teeth when I sleep at night...

Well, I'm all better now. The cold has gone bye-bye. Nice knowing ya. Don't come back, ever. Enough about that, let's talk about a little something that was dropped through my mail-slot this morning.

Don Hertzfeldt is an amazing film-maker. His unique style, his meticulous attention to detail and sense of humor has captured the hearts and minds of many many many, and mine as well. The first time I got exposed to Don's work was when I saw his short "Billy's Balloon", a sadistic portrayal of an evil red balloon and a boy who is subject to the balloons torture. I was about 16 or 17 when I saw it on TV, I think, and I kicked and cursed myself repeatedly for not recording it so I can show it to my friends.


"Billy's Balloon", 1998

A couple of years later, I saw a movie called "Rejected" on TV. Shorts like these don't usually get aired on Swedish TV. I don't know what the reasons were for showing "Billy's Balloon", but in this case I can make a qualified guess, although I don't really know for sure. I may be wrong. Anyway, the animated shorts that are nominated for an Academy Award usually become a part of SVT's (Sveriges Television - Swedish Television) Oscar Evening, which means that SVT airs the nominated shorts before the actual show. "Rejected" was nominated, so I guess it was aired for that reason. I wasn't aware of this at the time, but it has been so the last years I've followed the Oscars. I, once again, failed to record it, so I did the kicking and cursing myself again. Hard.


"Rejected", 2000

So, I was watching "Rejected", and I knew I recognized the style from somewhere, but I couldn't figure out from where. I wrote Don's name down on a piece of paper, so I would remember it, but I lost it somehow. It wouldn't occur to me until years later that Don had done both movies, when I stumbled on to a link to a video online. After a long time downloading (56k dial-up, woo) I saw that I had stumbled upon a low-quality version of "Rejected". For what it's worth, at least it made sure I would remember Don's name from now on. Searched it on the IMDb, and the rest is history.

On to what fell through my mail-slot this morning;
"Bitter films - vol. 1", a collection of all the animated shorts the Don made during 1995 to 2005. This DVD really has everything one could ask for regarding Don's shorts, and more. Once you see his movies back to back, you really take notice on how he has developed as an animator. From the somewhat simple and geniusly wicked "Ah l'amour" to the playful cinematic parody that is "Genre".


"Genre", 1996

The misery of two humans is portrayed in "Lily and Jim", which is about an awkward blind date gone terribly wrong. On to his most evil film, "Billy's Balloon" which I mentioned earlier, and his most popular film to date, "Rejected", which is about the fictional mental breakdown of Don himself as an animator, and about the evil of commercialism that is jammed down our throats on a daily basis.
Buy more. Buy more now. And be happy.


"Lily and Jim", 1997

Last feature on the DVD, but definitely not least, is the overwhelming piece of art that is "The Meaning of Life", which explores the past and future evolution of humans, where we are going, and where we are now. Are we nothing more than ants on a hill, droning and strolling around the world, or can humanity rise to be something more?
The question is asked, but left to the viewer to answer.


"The Meaning of Life", 2005

As if these digitally remastered shorts (supervised by Don himself, who "hated every living second of it", according to the back cover) weren't enough, there's tons and kilos of special features to explore. Everything from camera notes, script pages, sketches, pencil tests, to photographs, audio commentaries, a trivia subtitle track, a documentary and much more. The sheer volume of interesting content that was put on this DVD is a really amazing effort. Simply put, if you're a fan of Don's, a fan of animation, or just a fan of film, you'll want to have this disc. You need it. You really do, you just don't know it yet.

Don is just about done with his latest movie, titled "Everything Will Be OK", which is part one in a future trilogy. If he's moving in the direction that "The Meaning of Life" was pointing to, I think that Don may very well become one of the most creative filmmakers ever.


"Everything Will Be OK", 2006

Visit http://www.bitterfilms.com to order "Bitter films - vol. 1" and for more info about Don Hertzfeldt and his movies.

Crazy Jack-Face 13

"Come on, Charlie!"

late night staring contest...

I went outside the apartment a couple of minutes ago for the first time in days. I deemed it necessary, because my cough has just gone away, and I needed some fresh air. It was cold, but very refreshing.

As I was walking around the courtyard, minding my own business, I notice an attractive woman in one of the windows, staring at me. I try not to look at her, so I look at other things, like the ground, or the road, for example. I do this for a minute or two, and when I turn around, I see that she's still there, staring. At me. I try to ignore her, but I still see her in my peripheral vision, and guess what she's doing? That's right, she's still fucking staring. I'm getting freaked out at this point, so I walk back into my apartment.

Please, lady, stop staring at me! Can't a guy walk around his courtyard late at night without being stared at? I need the fresh air, dammit!

Next time, I'll stare back. See how she likes it. Nah. I'll look like a pervert if I stare into windows late at night. I hope she's not there next time. Stupid, scary lady, can't even be by myself late at night....

woman deepthroated by Thor...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

two ways of spending a holyfuckton of money...

Yesterday I unofficially jumped on the bandwagon for the next generation of high-definition home entertainment; I preordered a Sony Playstation 3 Home Entertainment System. I know, it costs a shitton of money, but it's not released until March, so if I feel I can't afford it come March, I'll just ninja-cancel my preorder. I can't lose.

The newspapers today reported that a Swedish politician hasn't paid any TV-fees at all for the last 16 years. Now, when the cats out of the bag, she says that she'd like to shell out the total sum she's previously failed to pay. Not adjusted to inflation, she's agreed to pay up about $3,112 and 65 cents (23 376 SEK), plus a fine for breaking the law. Serves the bitch right. Especially considering that she's handling the cultural branch of the government.

In the eternal words of Dan Castellaneta; 'D'oh!'

cold and miserable...

My comic strip, which I wrote about here, has been published! Granted, they only used it as a reminder for the contest I submitted it to, but still... it's kinda cool. Check it out here (it's in Swedish.)

I've got a cold. So now I'm just at home, taking it easy. Not a major change from my usual unemployed life, but now I feel twice as miserable. Oh well, complaining doesn't help, so I'll stop now.

youtube makes my day a bit more fun...

Ever had someone poke you on the side when you least expect it? Doesn't that just make you... MAAAD??


This caught me totally off guard.


Pure evil.

Crazy Jack-Face 10, 11, 12

"No..."


"...being a drunk..."


"...is *not* obsessive."

don't blow it...

Went to my second job interview today, and I'm glad to report that it went a lot better this time around. I was much more relaxed and comfortable.

The job I was interviewing for this time is about 60 kilometers (about 40 miles) from here. Not looking forward going back and forth that distance every day, but it beats doing nothing and not making any money. We'll see how it goes, if I get called back for a second interview or not.

find yourself lost...

4 8 15 16 23 42

Tonight is the season premiere of LOST, one of my favorite TV shows. When we left season two, Kate, Sawyer and Jack were captured by the seemingly evil group they call "The Others", and Michael and his boy Walt were given a boat and directions away from the island, after Michael's betrayal.

The Hatch computer's timer finally reached zero, and we found out that it's purpose was to release some mysterious electromagnetic buildup from the island. The timer had reached zero one time before, when Desmond, the man that the crash-survivors found living in The Hatch in the season two premiere, failed to "push the button", as he called it. The magnetic buildup that followed his failure was what caused the plane to crash on the island, when the show started. Luckily, Desmond somehow managed to release the magnetic buildup this first time before it was too late, but not the second time, when season two ended, thanks to Locke.

Who are these "Others" really? And what interest do they have in this specific trio of people they have kidnapped? Is there really a sickness? What is the Dharma Initiative? How will the rest of the survivors go on without their leader, Jack? And What happened to Desmond, Mr. Eko and Locke after the finale? These are the questions we hope to find out now, when season three begins.

On another note, after my catastrophic job interview yesterday, I have been summoned to another interview for another company, to take place this Friday. I hope it'll end up a lot better than last time. As always, I'll let you know how it went.

the first of many...

Still unemployed. I didn't get the job. Even though I had prepared myself with what kind of questions I might be asked, and tried to find out as much as I could about the company, I was way to nervous when I sat down and the interviewer started asking questions. At least I got some tips and pointers for my next time, and for my life in general, which was nice and honest of him. He even asked for the address to this website, which I gave. I hope he doesn't find the content too offensive for his taste. Or too boring.

Oh well, that's that. My very first formal job interview. Many more to come.

Crazy Jack-Face 9

"Grrr!"

so happy...!

I have been scheduled for a job interview on Tuesday! This job is so mine, I can taste it. It's for the office supply job, if you must know.

I'm really excited! I'll let you know how it goes.

ten of the worst computer related offences in movies and TV-shows

10. Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines

The scene where the Terminatrix "hacks" into a bunch of cars to remote-steer them and chase John Connor. Cringeworthy galore. Also...
"The firewalls are holding, sir!"

9. Independence Day

Dr. Jeff Goldblum uses a Macintosh laptop to destroy the alien mothership with a computer virus and save the world. Guess the aliens use USB-connections like everyone else? Aliens, try using NOD32 or Norton AntiVirus before messing with us.
Welcome to earf.

8. Jurassic Park

If the line "It's a UNIX-system, I know this" isn't cheesy enough, how about the scene where Dennis Nedry speaks to one of the boatmen through a Quicktime window, with the progress bar at the bottom fully visible? Oopsie. Also, why would they use such a shitty interface to manage the parks security system?

7. The Net

The. Whole. Movie.

6. Goldeneye


[computer screen]
C:\>send spike_ [enter]



...



spike sent
C:\>_
[/computer screen]

Me: Oh my God, Boris! You are the best hacker in the world!
Boris: Yes! I am invincible!

5. Hackers

The Internet is all colorful and made of virtual skyscrapers... not.

4. Disclosure

Michael Douglas is raped by Demi Moore and later uses a virtual reality helmet to flip through a virtual filing cabinet to clear his name. Which of these two scenarios are most unlikely to happen in real life?

3. 24

- Chloe, I want you to open a socket to division, get an infrared imaging sattelite on the terrorists and route it on a secure channel to my PDA.
- Sure thing, Jack... Wait, what?

2. Mission: Impossible

Ethan Hunt is trying to find out information about a biblical verse. What does Ethan Hunt do? Ethan Hunt starts emailing aimlessly to random adresses like "max@job 3:14". Right after that, Ethan Hunt emails "dianetics@ron.fucked.up.my mind".

1. C.S.I.
Original, Miami, New York - All guilty
I can't even watch any of these shows any more. It's too embarrasing. Here's a sample of the actual dialouge from the show:


Gil/Horatio/Mac: This low-resolution picture taken from a shitty '80s security camera is supposedly the last picture of our victim. We better find some clues!
Computer nerd: Sure thing, boss. Lemme just zoom the picture...

Gil/Horatio/Mac: Good. Zoom in on the face. We have to verify her identity.
Computer nerd: Okay, let's zoom...

Gil/Horatio/Mac: NOW, COMMENCE THE ENHANCEMENT OF THE PICTURE!
Computer nerd: ENHANCEMENT BEGINULATED!

Gil/Horatio/Mac: Yes, it is her. Thank God for the illogical wonders of computer magic that can create details in a picture out of thin air! Otherwise we wouldn't even be able to solve a spoonful of sugar in hot water!
Computer nerd: Amen, boss! Let's wait for another deus ex machina to help us find out who the killer is.


If you, the reader, can come up with other similar offences, feel free to drop a line in my comment box. I might even add it.