Crazy Jack-Face 24, 25

I know, there's been a lot of Jack-Faces lately, but this'll be the last one for a while. And for that, I thought I'd make it a little bit special. Enjoy.


"You think I trust you? That I'm gonna just do the surgery..."


"...and HOPE that you'll let me go?"

Crazy Jack-Face 20, 21, 22, 23

"What are you..."


"DOING HERE?!"



"If you got something to watch, Cindy..."


"...GO WATCH IT!!!"

Crazy Jack-Face 19

"You talked me into pushing that button once, John, but it's yours now."

Crazy Jack-Face 18

"Kate, dammit, RUN!"

up and running again...

Got the part I needed for my broken-ass computer, finally. Took me all day to get the part from the supermarket/postal office and work out a few kinks with the system when I replaced the part, but now it's like a brand new computer. Yay! Great success!

system down...

Be back when it's fixed.

Update:

I know I posted this three times, but the cell gave a an error message after I tried to publish it. Anyway, now I'm using my girlfriend's old computer while I wait for the store to get the part I need to fix my computer.

Damn.

seven DVD's on my desk...

I know, I usually go with five dvd's, but I felt like going crazy this time around. I'm a real nutjob, I'm tellin' ya!

1. Miller's Crossing

One of the best movies made by the Coen brothers, and one of the best period pieces ever made, period. Standouts in this movie are Albert Finney and John Turtorro, playing each other's opposites. Albert plays a crime boss, and John plays a sneaky squealer-type guy. Caught in between is Gabriel Byrne's character, trying to work out the conflict in the movie. Excellent film.

2. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

The kid in me really loves this movie. Sure, the animation is horrible, the voicework is severely exaggerated and overacted, and the story is laughable. I can't really explain why I like it, but I do. So shoot me.

3. Lord of War

Nicolas Cage acts really well as an arms dealer in this movie, in contrast to the YouTube movie I linked to in my last post. Vastly underrated and overlooked by nearly everyone, with a witty script and beautiful cinematography. Consider renting this when you don't know what to rent.

4. Good Night, and Good Luck

I never thought that I'd see George Clooney get nominated for Best Director at the Academy Awards, but this movie gave him one, and well-deserved, mind you. Apart from directing the movie, he also wrote and acted in it. Clooney has come a long way since "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" and "E.R.".

5. The Frighteners

Horror comedy signed Peter Jackson. Not one of his best, but still an entertaining and visually pleasing movie with Michael J. Fox. And who doesn't like Michael J. Fox? I know I do. Like him, that is.

6. Army of Darkness

The third movie in the "Evil Dead" trilogy. Sadly, like the second movie, it's more focused on slapstick humor and catchphrases than the horror, but if you like the other "Evil Deads", you'll want to see this too.

7. Limbo

A somber piece, in which the first two thirds are solely dedicated to character development, and the conflict of the movie only kicks in in the last third. Beautifully directed by John Sayles.

In other news, my girlfriend and me has decided to finally buy ourselves a new 37" HDTV in February. I'll let you know how it turns out. I can't wait!

best performance of the year...

Okay, not really. Nicolas Cage was recently nominated for a Razzie Award, which give their award to the worst movies made during the year. Here's why he was nominated. Enjoy.

fuckin' hell...

top 5 porn titles...

I found these titles on bittorrent, and I thought they (the titles) were kinda funny. I'm not downloading them, I swear.

5. "Ass To Other Girls Mouth"
Yikes, too specific. Next.

4. "Smorgaswhores"
Whoo, clever.

3. "Mother Fucking Cream Pie Gang Bang 2"
Is this the movie with Jason Biggs?

2. "Attack Of The Monster Midget With A 10 Inch Cock"
Yes, this is a real title.

And now, the no. 1 porn title found on bittorrent today...
1. "Who Needs A Soulmate, Give Me A Holemate"

Honorable mention:
"Mad Sex Party Electro Cock Therapy"
Long titles are awesome.

my near-death experience...

Last year, I came close to depart this world, forever. I almost died. It's stupid, really, but I really want to write this down somewhere before it becomes a vague memory.

About 8 months ago, I was having dinner, by myself. My girl was at work, and for some reason I was in a hurry. I was wolfing down a steak, and barely chewing it. Then it happens. A piece of the steak gets stuck in my throat. I can't breathe. It's stuck. The veins in my head feels like they're gonna explode. My lips went numb, and my legs folded. I knew this was it. I'm dead.

But I didn't die. Somehow I managed to ram my back into the refrigerator, and the piece of steak I was choking on moved. After repeating this a couple of times, I swallowed it, and I could breathe again. I collapsed on the floor for a minute or so, then I felt like I was gonna throw up. I fought the urge, because I didn't want to give the steak a second chance of choking me again.

Sometimes I wonder about what would've happened if I hadn't survived that. I think about what people would've said at my burial.

Death by steak.
Only 22 years old.
So fucking futile.

I mean, we all want our deaths to be meaningful, right? Until then, I thought my death would be. But I realized that regardless of age, health, sickness, whatever, dying in vain is the conventional death.

So sorry for the emo post. At least I learned a valuable lesson; Always chew your food properly. Something I've been told since I was an infant, but we all need a reminder sometimes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

five DVD's on my desk...

1. Die Hard 2 - Die Harder

Easily the worst of the Die Hard Trilogy (soon to be four films), but still enjoyable to watch if you want to see Bruce Willis say something cool after killing a bunch of bad guys.

2. The Third Man

Ahh, a classic, with a twist. Joseph Cotten plays a writer who finds out, after coming to Vienna regarding a job offer, that his best friend, Harry Lime, was killed in a freak car accident. After investigating the death of his friend, he finds out that Harry might've turned in to a different kind of friend right before the accident. See it, it has Orson Welles.

3. Dr. Strangelove
(or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)
Another classic that everyone should see at least once. Both Peter Sellers and George C. Scott are phenomenal in this movie. Sellers plays no more than four parts in this dark comedy, and he plays every one of them perfectly. Must-see. Now.

4. Cidade de Deus - City of God
A movie about growing up in gangs in the streets of Rio de Janeiro. A very strong story and visually compelling, dispite being such a violent tale. Not for the weak of heart.

5. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

If you haven't heard the name Shane Black before, chances are that you have seen one or more of the movies he has written. Lethal Weapon? Lethal Weapon 2? The Long Kiss Goodnight? The Last Boy Scout? Seen any of those? If you have, you've probably noticed that they have a very fast-paced, witty dialouge, a trademark of Black's, and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is no different. This movie doesn't beat around the bush, and demands of it's audience that you keep up, so if you can't grip the story the first time, see it again until you do.

Oh, by the way... Merry Christmas.