so happy...!

I have been scheduled for a job interview on Tuesday! This job is so mine, I can taste it. It's for the office supply job, if you must know.

I'm really excited! I'll let you know how it goes.

ten of the worst computer related offences in movies and TV-shows

10. Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines

The scene where the Terminatrix "hacks" into a bunch of cars to remote-steer them and chase John Connor. Cringeworthy galore. Also...
"The firewalls are holding, sir!"

9. Independence Day

Dr. Jeff Goldblum uses a Macintosh laptop to destroy the alien mothership with a computer virus and save the world. Guess the aliens use USB-connections like everyone else? Aliens, try using NOD32 or Norton AntiVirus before messing with us.
Welcome to earf.

8. Jurassic Park

If the line "It's a UNIX-system, I know this" isn't cheesy enough, how about the scene where Dennis Nedry speaks to one of the boatmen through a Quicktime window, with the progress bar at the bottom fully visible? Oopsie. Also, why would they use such a shitty interface to manage the parks security system?

7. The Net

The. Whole. Movie.

6. Goldeneye


[computer screen]
C:\>send spike_ [enter]



...



spike sent
C:\>_
[/computer screen]

Me: Oh my God, Boris! You are the best hacker in the world!
Boris: Yes! I am invincible!

5. Hackers

The Internet is all colorful and made of virtual skyscrapers... not.

4. Disclosure

Michael Douglas is raped by Demi Moore and later uses a virtual reality helmet to flip through a virtual filing cabinet to clear his name. Which of these two scenarios are most unlikely to happen in real life?

3. 24

- Chloe, I want you to open a socket to division, get an infrared imaging sattelite on the terrorists and route it on a secure channel to my PDA.
- Sure thing, Jack... Wait, what?

2. Mission: Impossible

Ethan Hunt is trying to find out information about a biblical verse. What does Ethan Hunt do? Ethan Hunt starts emailing aimlessly to random adresses like "max@job 3:14". Right after that, Ethan Hunt emails "dianetics@ron.fucked.up.my mind".

1. C.S.I.
Original, Miami, New York - All guilty
I can't even watch any of these shows any more. It's too embarrasing. Here's a sample of the actual dialouge from the show:


Gil/Horatio/Mac: This low-resolution picture taken from a shitty '80s security camera is supposedly the last picture of our victim. We better find some clues!
Computer nerd: Sure thing, boss. Lemme just zoom the picture...

Gil/Horatio/Mac: Good. Zoom in on the face. We have to verify her identity.
Computer nerd: Okay, let's zoom...

Gil/Horatio/Mac: NOW, COMMENCE THE ENHANCEMENT OF THE PICTURE!
Computer nerd: ENHANCEMENT BEGINULATED!

Gil/Horatio/Mac: Yes, it is her. Thank God for the illogical wonders of computer magic that can create details in a picture out of thin air! Otherwise we wouldn't even be able to solve a spoonful of sugar in hot water!
Computer nerd: Amen, boss! Let's wait for another deus ex machina to help us find out who the killer is.


If you, the reader, can come up with other similar offences, feel free to drop a line in my comment box. I might even add it.

Crazy Jack-Face 8

"Maybe all of this - the computer, the button - is just a mind game?"

who do they think I am? martha stewart?

Busy day. Today I applied for no more than three jobs, and none of which is a job I actually want. I had a meeting at the unemployment office, and after talking about what I should and should not do, the guy shoves a stack of papers in my hand and says "apply for these jobs, or you'll lose all your future privileges."

Very well. I went home and started writing. The first job was as a receptionist in another town not too far away from here. The last day for sending in the application was today. Close call. The second job was as a salesman for mobile phones. It's located about an hour from here. Not looking foward going back and forth every single morning and evening, but what the hell, I'll do it.

Now, this is where it gets interesting. The third job was as a furniture salesman. That's what the title said anyway. The description said something else. It said that I will visit decorating offices and architects, and help them to coordinate living rooms and stuff like that. They also want someone with an education in interior design (but it's not a requirement, mind you). They also want someone who has worked with furniture before (but it's not a requirement, mind you). I will have to count on doing sleepovers 4 nights a week when I'm working. Also, I need to be able to speak English.

Why the fuck did they dump a job like that in my lap? The only requirement I met was that I speak English, like every other loser in this country. Anyway, I signed the damn form with my previous experience and education, but I doubt they will even consider me, thankfully. I can't even imagine having a job like that. Maybe if I'm getting like $7000 a month for it.

By the way, I fucking hate Martha Stewart.

Thanks to forbes.com for the Martha-picture.

my first comic strip...

Here's a comic strip I made for a contest today, on the Swedish equivalent to "Overheard in New York". I even translated it into English for you guys.

The style is slightly retarded, I know, but it's supposed to be that way, promise. Enjoy.

my one irrational fear...

I love fog. I don't love everything about it, it usually gets pretty cold and damp, but it makes the night beautiful. I especially love how it makes spider webs fully visible, mostly because I can avoid getting it on me, but still look at it up close. I tend to freak out when I get cobweb on me, especially in the hair. Yeah, it's one of my phobias, spiders. Not the big ones, those I can handle, but the tiny ones that could be anywhere. I get the creeps just writing about it.

I met the friend, the one that was moving. Didn't stay for long, she had to go to work, but it went more or less like I imagined it. I hope I'll see her again some time in the future.

Crazy Jack-Face 7

"WHAT?!"

what happened...?

Ever had one of those days when everything feels slightly... off? Like some cosmic force has nudged the entire existence ever so slightly to the left. Just a teeny, tiny bit. I had one of those days today. Or maybe I'm just confused.
Gpthry snpiy oy. Yjsmld.

nothing significant...

Nothing much to report this time, I just felt that the videos from the last entry has been on top for too long. I don't want to delete the entry, so I'll just write something instead.

I've talked to my friend, the one that's moving, and we're going to meet up before the move. Looks like my last effort has paid off. I doubt that I'll have much to say, but I just felt it was important to say goodbye, having been a part of her life, and vice versa.

I applied for a new job. Nothing extravagant, just as a salesman for an office-supply store. It's way better pay than the last job I wanted. I have a few other jobs I haven't sent my application to yet, but I want to see how it goes with this one first. I'll keep you up to date.

brilliant covers...

The Mike Flowers Pops - Wonderwall (Oasis)


Mat Weddle - Hey Ya (Outkast)


Travis - Hit Me Baby One More Time (Britney Spears)


Richard Cheese - Gin and Juice (Snoop Dogg)