ten of the worst computer related offences in movies and TV-shows

10. Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines

The scene where the Terminatrix "hacks" into a bunch of cars to remote-steer them and chase John Connor. Cringeworthy galore. Also...
"The firewalls are holding, sir!"

9. Independence Day

Dr. Jeff Goldblum uses a Macintosh laptop to destroy the alien mothership with a computer virus and save the world. Guess the aliens use USB-connections like everyone else? Aliens, try using NOD32 or Norton AntiVirus before messing with us.
Welcome to earf.

8. Jurassic Park

If the line "It's a UNIX-system, I know this" isn't cheesy enough, how about the scene where Dennis Nedry speaks to one of the boatmen through a Quicktime window, with the progress bar at the bottom fully visible? Oopsie. Also, why would they use such a shitty interface to manage the parks security system?

7. The Net

The. Whole. Movie.

6. Goldeneye


[computer screen]
C:\>send spike_ [enter]



...



spike sent
C:\>_
[/computer screen]

Me: Oh my God, Boris! You are the best hacker in the world!
Boris: Yes! I am invincible!

5. Hackers

The Internet is all colorful and made of virtual skyscrapers... not.

4. Disclosure

Michael Douglas is raped by Demi Moore and later uses a virtual reality helmet to flip through a virtual filing cabinet to clear his name. Which of these two scenarios are most unlikely to happen in real life?

3. 24

- Chloe, I want you to open a socket to division, get an infrared imaging sattelite on the terrorists and route it on a secure channel to my PDA.
- Sure thing, Jack... Wait, what?

2. Mission: Impossible

Ethan Hunt is trying to find out information about a biblical verse. What does Ethan Hunt do? Ethan Hunt starts emailing aimlessly to random adresses like "max@job 3:14". Right after that, Ethan Hunt emails "dianetics@ron.fucked.up.my mind".

1. C.S.I.
Original, Miami, New York - All guilty
I can't even watch any of these shows any more. It's too embarrasing. Here's a sample of the actual dialouge from the show:


Gil/Horatio/Mac: This low-resolution picture taken from a shitty '80s security camera is supposedly the last picture of our victim. We better find some clues!
Computer nerd: Sure thing, boss. Lemme just zoom the picture...

Gil/Horatio/Mac: Good. Zoom in on the face. We have to verify her identity.
Computer nerd: Okay, let's zoom...

Gil/Horatio/Mac: NOW, COMMENCE THE ENHANCEMENT OF THE PICTURE!
Computer nerd: ENHANCEMENT BEGINULATED!

Gil/Horatio/Mac: Yes, it is her. Thank God for the illogical wonders of computer magic that can create details in a picture out of thin air! Otherwise we wouldn't even be able to solve a spoonful of sugar in hot water!
Computer nerd: Amen, boss! Let's wait for another deus ex machina to help us find out who the killer is.


If you, the reader, can come up with other similar offences, feel free to drop a line in my comment box. I might even add it.